


What Should Be

by budsnbloom, CheetahLeopard2



Series: What Should Be (larthemae au) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Larthemae, M/M, Magic, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Roommates, Soulmates kinda, oikuro friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-25 19:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13219788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/budsnbloom/pseuds/budsnbloom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheetahLeopard2/pseuds/CheetahLeopard2
Summary: Tooru is a creature known (not to humans) as larthemae, a word impossible to pronounce with human vocal cords. Hajime is his mate, the one who unlocks his magic and completes him, parts of their souls running together.Not that Hajime is aware of the magic running through his veins or even Tooru's feelings for him.





	1. Intro: Wishfulness

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for so so so long. This au is based off of my own delusions with a ton of crucial details changed, plus put in a setting where iwaoi's pining would flourish. This story will always have a special place in my heart as will anyone who comments and of course my wonderful co-creator, budsnbloom (@budsnblooms on tumblr) who drew/draws all of the WONDERFUL art for this!! 
> 
> This is dedicated to my best friends.

 

Tipping his head back, Tooru Oikawa stands under the misty spray, allowing the sensation of cold water to stream down in his shoulders and pool and fall from collarbones that _shouldn’t be this way_. It brings him back home.

Back home where he could run free, washed by standing under a cool waterfall, the force of it that a showerhead could never recreate detangling his matted fur, leaving him drenched but refreshed on the other side.

Memories of another reality you don’t remember recalling.

 

He had almost spilled to Hajime earlier.

Not that close earlier, maybe a day or two ago.

Not that Tooru would know, he doesn’t remember things in a linear timeline.

A secret almost as important as the one which hides his true soul.

His love.

 

Loving him was as natural to Tooru as breathing.

 

And really, doesn’t that designate your soulmate?

 

Pain blossoms in Tooru’s forehead in accordance with the _thunk_ of it against the tile wall.

 _Deep breaths._ He reminds himself, forcing his rib cage to expand. _Not enough._

Not enough when it should be narrower and longer, barely visible under shifting muscles and russet gold fur, stockings and muzzle tipped with black deeper than the void.

Tooru pulls his shoulders forward with a whimper as he tries in vain to pop his back, to make it feel at least a bit comfortable.

The whimper could not be classified as a remotely human sound, and Tooru desperately hopes that Hajime isn’t home to pass the bathroom and hear it.

A moment passes and there’s no call of “When did we get a dog?” so Tooru assumes he’s in the clear.

Tooru still feels horrible in this form. Once you found the other one, the human body feels like a cage and on days like this it’s so bad that Tooru wants nothing more than to rip out of his skin.

He could access the other form, but last time he shifted in the shower he had been too big to even complete the shift and had nearly broken the showerhead and curtain.

Tooru sighs and turns around, reaching to turn the cold knob until the water stops. He’d only been in the shower for maybe 10 minutes, but they were trying to save on the water bill and having every shower cold only did so much.

Besides, it doesn’t sound like Hajime is home, and if Tooru thinks about it Hajime should be in class for another twenty minutes, so Tooru can shift for a few moments in his room.

Tooru towels off and debates pulling on the clothes he brought with him into the bathroom. When he shifts, his clothes shift with him, although hats don’t for whatever odd reason. Magic is a flitty thing.

If he puts them on, it’ll be easier to just lounge on this bed and pretend to be studying when Hajime gets home.

Tooru huffs and puts on his clothes, soft alien head spotted pajama pants and a shirt that’s slightly short but loose on him.

Tooru lifts the edge of the neckline to his nose and sniffs to be sure, and it is indeed Hajime’s shirt.

Tooru decides not to read into how that makes his heart hurt, and justifies him having Hajime’s shirt as a best-friends-who-live-together thing.

The steps to his room feel like an eternity of pent up energy, atoms buzzing in their places and heartbeat felt in every taut muscle, and when the lock clicking gently disrupts the sound of blood pumping roaring in Tooru’s ears, Tooru almost turns to sink down and lean against the door to sit on the floor.

Instead, he walks around his bed to close the curtains on either side of it, then goes to his computer and opens a tab to youtube videos of animal noises. Just in case.

Precautions in place, Tooru lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and shifts.

Finally free, his spine stretches, tail unfurling. His ribs and lungs reconfigure and his face elongates, legs popping as his knees switch directions and his fingers are absorbed into his paws as claws. The entire process lasts less than a second.

At the foot of the bed, where there once stood a 20 year old college volleyball player, now stands an unnaturally large fox.

Said fox lets out a soft yip and runs in a tight circle before collapsing to the ground, curling into as tight a ball as he can manage.

Tooru burrows his muzzle into his tail, revelling in the sense of freedom he has when he’s like this. He can feel the slight tug on his mind get stronger as his magic, less limited, reaches out to connect with Hajime’s mind. Hajime, his soulmate.

Tooru wouldn’t be able to connect to this form without Hajime. It was the nature of his kind. The animal they shifted to was always different, but their basic operations were the same. The magic was always there, in small increments, but once you got close enough to your soulmate, the magic, and the larthemae’s true form, was unlocked. A larthemae’s soulmate was never another larthemae, something about them being too rare or something. Despite that all larthemae get along incredibly well, closer than friends, but less close than romantic lovers, and are inexplicably drawn to each other after they've found their mate and can sense magic signatures. Although larthemae are hardly ever able to breed, as soulmate pairs are predominantly of the same sex, if not always of the same gender, a soulmate pair would always produce another lathermae, while the rest are born to human parents and sometimes move to the next lifetime without ever realizing they’re anything but human. Larthemea always appeared as their trueform in their soulmate’s dreams when they were asleep at the same time.

Unfortunately, Tooru had no clue how to alert Hajime to the fact of his inhumanness and their mated status without him freaking-the-fuck-out™. Occasionally Tooru slipped up, when Hajime was craving a certain food or had a burning curiosity.

Luckily Hajime never seemed to notice Tooru answering unasked questions, saying offhandedly that someplace or another sold agedashi tofu.

Tooru sighs, his breath cold on his fur. There’s no time for worrying right now, Hajime would be back from class soon and he seems to be having a bad day, if the way his mind seems bogged down by fog and sharp flashes of tired anger is anything to go by. Tooru uncurls and stretches with a yawn, closing his laptop and manipulating the water in the bathroom to turn the taps for a warm bath, and the water in the kitchen to start boiling.

The water just stopped boiling and Tooru had just turned off the taps in the bathroom by the time familiar footsteps in the hall outside the apartment make Tooru’s ears perk up.

Quickly, Tooru unlocks the bedroom door, teleports to the kitchen, and shifts back to human just as Hajime fits his key in the lock.

“Hey,” Hajime sighs, discarding his bag and his coat and sitting at the counter dividing the kitchen from the sitting area.

Tooru smiles gently at the way Hajime immediately crosses his arms on the counter and rests his head on them, and pushes the mug of tea towards him.

“Thanks,” Hajime smiles, genuine and soft, the kind that takes Tooru’s breath away and makes his heart stutter in his chest, “You always seem to know when I’m having a bad day.”

Tooru stiffens a bit, “Well, Iwa-chan, you’re always looking after me and forget to look after yourself! No one else is gonna do it!” Tooru feels as though he’s being a bit too genuine and ranting, and maybe even wishful with the hidden _“Please let me be the only one.”_

Hajime snorts into his tea at that, no doubt for the hypocrisy endowed in that statement from when they were younger and Tooru overworked himself, and it vaguely registers for Tooru that those are the first words he’s spoken since he woke up a few hours earlier.

Hajime finishes his tea and stands up with a slight wince, “I’m tired and I hate Uni chairs.”

“Relatable.” Tooru says, taking his cup from under the spout of the coffee maker and stirring in three (3) spoons of sugar and some milk before taking an experimental sip. _Perfect. “_ Good thing I drew a bath already, you can take it.”

Hajime’s smile reemerges with his thanks, and Tooru hides his own smile behind his mug as Hajime books it to his room to grab some clothes before heading to the bathroom.

By the time Hajime emerges, sweatpants low on his hips and towel around his neck, Tooru is already changed out of pajamas and spread out in the sitting room, textbooks, notebooks, and laptop on the coffee table and floor around him.

“Hey, Oikawa.” Hajime says, startling Tooru into looking up. “Thanks for the tea and the bath.”

“It’s not a problem, Iwa-chan! I was already making drinks and I was going to take a bath mysel-”

Hajime’s hand plants itself in Tooru’s hair, “You drink coffee more often than you drink tea, and your hair is soft and damp enough for you to have taken a shower not too long ago.”

“Iwa-chan...” Tooru can feel a flush beginning on his relatively pale skin.

“Don’t lie to me, Shittykawa, I know you too well for that.” Hajime gives Tooru’s hair one last ruffle before he turns to get his coursework from his room, and Tooru almost whimpers at the loss of contact. “And Oikawa?” _Tooru, call me Tooru._ Tooru mentally corrects, “Start packing up or you’re going to be late.”

Tooru manages to keep his yelp human as he turns to quickly order his papers and shove everything into his bag.

 

 


	2. Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY IWAOI DAY EVEN THOUGH THERE'S VERY LITTLE ACTUAL IWAOI IN THIS CHAPTER BUT A LOT OF WORLD BUILDING AND OH!! WHAT'S THAT? A LOOK INTO TOORU'S COLLEGE LIFE? IN /MY/ SUBURBS? IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU'D THINK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment and check out the work on our blogs!
> 
> Art (AKJDHKJSNJDSFMN AMAZING I CAN'T BELIEVE) by @budsnblooms
> 
>  

When Tooru gets out of class, Tetsurou is there to greet him, shifting his weight from foot to foot with a warm coffee in each hand to combat the cold.

“Yahoo Tettchan~” Tooru calls as he makes his way through the ever-moving crowds streaming from the lecture hall doors. Both he, at 6’ 0.6”, and Tetsurou, at 6’ 1.9”, tower over most of the others, sometimes a full foot taller, as is the case with the blonde standing beside Tetsurou in amiable conversation. It’s the girlfriend of their volleyball team’s manager, Hitoka Yachi.

“And Ya-chan! How’re you?” Tooru finally manages to step out of the crowd and stand in front of the other two.

“I’m fine, thanks! How’s the team?” Hitoka turns with a smile, and Tooru is struck with the memory of Hitoka when she was still in highschool, and had crippling fear of most things, including people taller than her. Now that one of her circles was mostly tall guys on the team, and since she started living with her girlfriend, she’s been doing a lot better. She’s come far and Tooru is proud of her.

They fall into aimless small talk as they continue their average Thursday routine, walking to the library.

After about an hour of studying, Tooru can feel restlessness creeping up on him like fog rolling in on a cold morning; Inevitable. 

With a sinking feeling, Tooru digs his phone out of his pocket to check the app on his phone, a half moon tonight. He’d have his obligatory bimonthly shift  _ tonight _ .

Noting his frown and the way Tooru shifts his position in his chair, Tetsurou catches his eye and slowly blinks in question and Tooru is struck with the sudden impression of a cat, which he quickly mentally shakes away.

Tooru shakes his head a bit in a gesture that means clear as day to Tetsurou that Tooru wants him to drop it. 

Tetsurou cocks his head to the left in a “Ya sure?” motion.

Tooru grits his teeth and tilts his head a bit to the right in challenge.

Tetsurou’s gaze softens in an _Alright, but I’m here if you want to talk._ Before he shrugs almost imperceptibly and drops his gaze back to his paper. 

“You two must have known each other for a long time, huh?” Hitoka interjects softly, as though she wasn’t sure if their interaction was over.

Tooru and Tetsurou share a confused glance before turning a bit in their chairs to face Hitoka.

“What do you mean?” Tooru asks, and his apprehension must be clear on his face because Hitoka almost seems like she would apologize, as she would have even a mere year prior. As it is, Hitoka takes a small breath and composes her thoughts.

“Well, you two have that whole silent communication thing going,” she gestures with her pencil between them, “and I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed an uncomfortable silence between you in the… semester? Year? We’ve known each other as a group.”

Tetsurou and Tooru look at each other and shrug because, hell, she’s not wrong. However…

“Yachi, we met the beginning of last school year; the same time we met the rest of the volleyball team.” Tetsurou corrects and Hitoka’s eyes widen in slight surprise.

“Oh! Sorry to assume!” She quickly tries to placate them, even as they exchange an amused glance. 

“It’s fine Ya-chan!” Tooru quickly reassures, before remembering his earlier predicament.

Tooru turns his phone over from where he’d placed it facedown on the study table and opens the weather app to check when sundown is.

He has about 7 minutes to get home and locked in his room.

Tooru yelps, a sound bordering inhuman, and quickly makes to leave, doing math in his head. The library has plenty of non-video-monitored corners to teleport from, but he has to move fast.

Waving a cheerful excuse behind him, Tooru grabs his bag and heads towards the library entrance, ducking behind a bookcase to head deeper into the library as soon as he turns the corner.

_ Two minutes. _

Every nerve of Tooru’s begins to burn, beginning at skin level and Tooru knows that when the burning resonates in his bones he’ll be forced into a shift undoubtedly more painful than if he had shifted himself.

_ One minute. _

Tooru can see the nondescript bathroom hall he’s heading to only a few steps in front of him. The burning seeps deeper, faster with every step.

_ 30 seconds. _

And then a hand grabs onto Tooru shoulder. Fuck. He has to go  _ now. _ He’s never this careless. Tooru turns and sees Tetsurou behind him looking concerned.

_ 15 seconds. _

He doesn’t have time for this. Tooru runs through his options, and ultimately realizes he only has one choice.

_ 10 seconds _ .

Tooru teleports, shifting as he goes.

_ 9 seconds to sundown, and Tooru is safe. _

At least, he thinks he is, until the hand still on his shoulder moves and Tetsurou falls behind him on the bed with a soft thump, his back set at the foot of the bed.

Tooru doesn’t have the time to shift back or make excuses.

Tetsurou and Tooru stare at each other for the last seconds Tooru has until he’s stuck in this form until sunup.

Luckily Tetsurou seems more contemplative than anything else.

_ Negative 30 seconds. _

Tooru is the first to break the silence with a small yip.

Tetsurou doesn’t stop his eyes from roaming over Tooru’s form.

“A fox huh?” Tetsurou murmurs, and Tooru quirks his head in question. 

“I am,” Tetsurou hesitates, and the air becomes charged with the static of a twenty (20) year old secret about to be shared for the first time, “reasonably sure I’m a panther.” Tetsurou glances away, staring resolutely at the wall as the words sink in.

Tetsurou is another larthemea. 

Tooru sniffs the air to verify, and the faint scent of locked away magic assaults his senses as soon as he acknowledges it, and pieces click into place. How Tetsurou can silently communicate, why they clicked so quickly after meeting each other, how Tetsurou could tell something was off at the library.

Tooru relaxes, not realizing he had tensed in the first place, and takes a step forward so he can nuzzle at Tetsurou’s chest, and Tetsurou absentmindedly begins to thread his fingers through Tooru’s fur in a soothing motion.

“So you’re bonded. To whom?” Tetsurou murmurs, and Tooru freezes. Tetsurou snaps his fingers in realization, “It must be Iwaizumi, you two’ve known each other forever and work so well together.”

Tooru simply raises his muzzle a little so he’s staring Tetsurou in the eyes, and after a few seconds Tetsurou seems to deflate, “He doesn’t know, does he?”

Tooru gives a sad, soft whine, and Tetsurou murmurs something incomprehensible and leans forward so he’s somewhat awkwardly hugging Tooru.

Tooru appreciates the gesture, leaning into the touch.

After a moment Tooru pulls back and leaps up onto the bed beside Tetsurou, curling up around Tetsurou’s head when he lays down. The night should pass quickly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, HAPPY IWAOI DAY!!!!!!
> 
> (*whispers* Calling Tetsurou "Tettchan" 2k18, since 2016 ;D)


	3. Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO'S COME BACK AND COMMENTED ON BOTH CHAPTERS AND TAKEN THE TIME TO COMMENT IN GENERAL I HOPE Y'ALL LIKE THIS!!
> 
> As always the art is by the wonderful @budsnblooms on tumblr PLS check out her work!!

Tooru’s awakened by sunlight streaming through half-closed blinds directly into his eyes. He opens his maw in a yawn.

Him stirring up must have awoken Tetsurou, because Tetsurou splutters.

Confused, Tooru swivels his ears towards the sound, followed by his whole head.

Tooru barely can keep his gekkering to a quiet level as he watches Tetsurou struggle to get his face out from under Tooru’s bushy tail, much to the same effect of waking up with a lighter version of a cat on your face.

Tooru shifts back and cackles, “Yo- You could’ve just sat up!”

Tetsurou pushes him off the bed.

 

 

After Tooru teleports Tetsurou back to his own apartment, and changes into fresh clothes, he teleports to the front door with his backpack.

He forgot to grab his key. Tooru thumps his head softly against the door, though it’s mostly based off of the extra effort he has to put in to summon his keys to his hands or to unlock the door with magic. If he opened the lock with magic would it set off the wards he had set on the apartment? Tooru decides that it’s not worth having to reestablish the wards, and instead materializes his key from his bedside table into his hand.

Twisting the key in the lock and cursing the way the door seems to always stick, Tooru steps back into the warmth of the apartment with a contented sigh.

“I knew I didn’t hear you come in last night.” Hajime’s voice drifts from the kitchen; He sounds like home, and Tooru smiles.

“No,” Tooru calls back, removing his shoes before heading back to his room to drop off his bag, continuing the conversation, “I was studying with Tettchan and Yacchan and lost track of time, and by the time I realized the last bus had come and gone.”

Hajime hums, and Tooru heads back to the main area, flopping down on one of the bar stools on the outside of the counter set in the opening in the wall between the sitting area and the kitchen and is momentarily overwhelmed with how utterly _domestic_ they are, to know each other’s schedules and expect the other to be home and even now, Tooru can tell that Hajime is making four fried eggs and four pieces of toast although Hajime only eats two of each in the mornings.

It hurts a little bit, Tooru’s not going to lie to himself, being so close to his mate with these distinctive spaces between them. Maybe Tooru’s a little touch starved, but that can’t exactly be helped when the person he wants to hug the most, to kiss, to hold, isn’t interested in him. Isn’t even _gay_ as far as Tooru can tell.

So remains the space. The very evident space. The space that had Tooru flop onto that stool in the first place instead of sauntering into the kitchen and wrapping his arms around Hajime and placing his chin on Hajime’s head, no matter that he’d be slightly looking up.

Tooru, for a moment, just a moment, allows himself to imagine. Hajime would probably smile, placing one of his hands over Tooru’s and relaxing back. They’d probably stand there for a few moments before Tooru would make a comment about how happy he is that they could do that. And then Tooru’d try to save face before Hajime called him sappy by adding, “Of course, I couldn’t if you weren’t so short Iwa-chan!” or something along those lines. Then Hajime would try to turn around and get Tooru in a headlock, but Tooru would tighten his grip around Hajime’s waist so he couldn’t. Hajime would probably find a way out, though, like elbowing Tooru in the side before Tooru would dance away laughing-

The clatter of dishes as Hajime gets out a couple plates brings Tooru back, and he groans and crosses one arm and lays his head down on the counter, other arm stretched out in front of him so his forearm half falls off the other side.

Hajime chuckles and sets Tooru’s plate down next to his head before ruffling Tooru’s hair. It takes every ounce of Tooru’s self control not to nuzzle too much into the touch.

“Did you get a lot done at least?” Hajime asks as he walks out of the kitchen door to settle on the stool to Tooru’s right, close enough that their thighs touch. Not that that’s enough to make Tooru short circuit. No sirie.

But…

Tooru won’t deny that he’s fighting down a blush as he gets out a chipper, “Yepper pepper!” and quietly begins to eat.

Tooru is only slightly disappointed that the meal passes in silence. Honestly he’s not sure _why_ he’s disappointed, but he knows that he’s mostly not because their silence is comfortable.

And, honestly, Tooru would be hard pressed to think of a situation he’s been in with Hajime where the silence _wasn’t_ comfortable.

Tooru wouldn’t have it any other way.

After finishing off his plate, Tooru waits for Hajime to finish before bringing up the subject of studying again.

“You know midterms are coming up?” Tooru asks, a rhetorical question, but one necessary to introduce his topic and affirm that Hajime’s listening.

Hajime hums, and Tooru smiles, grabbing Hajime’s plate as well as his own to wash and stick in the dishwasher; Hajime had been nice enough to cook for them after all.

“I was thinking,” Tooru had to raises his voice slightly to be heard over the rush of water, “we could host a one-time study group.”

Tooru turns at Hajime’s silence to read his expression, and finds Hajime blinking at him slowly, utterly unimpressed, “So you want to have a study party.” Hajime sums up, while Tooru’s grin turns slightly sheepish.

“I guess,” Tooru says with a shrug, watching carefully as Hajime’s finger taps once on the wood surface, and he can imagine him switching his crossed ankles under the counter. Hajime was cracking.

Not that he had much to be cracked, it’s a good idea.

“Alright.”

Tooru takes this as an excuse to lift his voice in a happy, “Yay~ Iwa-chan’s the _best,”_ and hope that Hajime doesn’t look too far into the genuinity of Tooru’s tone.

He’s in too deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT!! 
> 
> (Also, other version of the art for this chapter:)
> 
>  


	4. Guarding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 'study party'!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm learning ASL and at home I'm only signing so wish me luck!!
> 
> AS ALWAYS ELISE MADE THE PERFECT ART FOR THIS CHAPTER WE SHOULD ALL GIVE HER A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE AND SCREAM TO HER TUMBLR (@budsnblooms) ABOUT HOW FITTING IT IS!!!

Tooru’s not sure why he’s so nervous.

It should be simple, have people over, study, eat, and have everyone go home confident about midterms. 

And yet…

Tooru almost laughs out loud when he realizes the source of his nervousness. 

Tooru, by his nature as a larthemea, was mildly territorial, and this would be the first time since he had accidentally teleported Tetsurou to his room that someone other than Hajime and himself would be in their apartment. And even with Tetsurou, he hadn’t left Tooru’s room. 

And now that Tooru had opened his rational thought to the instinctive nervousness, it didn’t seem unfounded. 

Other larthemae could get through his wards if he invited them, right? Would the wards even work when there are so many people in the apartment? If Tooru has to redo those wards he’s going to punch something. Getting them up the first time without Hajime noticing had been one of the few times his secret had almost been exposed, and Tooru wasn’t about to tempt fate by waiting to reset the wards but-

Hajime breaks through his thoughts with a calming hand on his shoulder, “Hey, you alright?” 

Then Tooru’s heart rate is increased for a different reason, this time with an added blush and stutter to keep down.

Yeah, in  _ way  _ too deep.

Tooru turns to Hajime with a smile that’s entirely too forced for Hajime to believe, and Hajime meets it with a raised eyebrow before Tooru relents, speaking before he can regret it, “I’m a bit… nervous.”

Hajime stares at him for a second, searching his face for a hint of a lie. 

So Tooru drops most of his mask, looking at Hajime with his distraught visible in the slight furrow of his brow, the downward quirk of his lips, and the way he can almost feel his ears flicking. Not that Hajime is privy to the last sign, but the slightly widened state of his pupils overcompensates, truly.

Tooru’s staring into Hajime’s eyes now, and while Hajime seems to be looking for something in Tooru’s, Tooru is just memorizing the color of Hajime’s. He realizes, belatedly, how close Hajime had stepped with his confession.  _ It would be so easy to kiss him now. _ Tooru doesn’t flick his gaze down to Hajime’s lips at the thought, he doesn’t have to, with how well he knows Hajime, knows almost every contour of his body.

“Why?”

The question shocks him into blinking, struggling to return his thoughts to their conversation, “Well it’s,” Tooru pauses to lick his suddenly dry lips, and in his thoughts misses Hajime tracking the movement, “This is our space, isn’t it? Won’t it be a bit,” he hums, “vulnerable?”

“So you don’t want to open up to your friends?” Hajime steps back again, and Tooru hadn’t realized how much warmth Hajime was emitting until it was gone. He immediately wants it back, wants Hajime to step closer and closer until there’s no space between them, no thought that doesn’t belong to the both of them. But Tooru’s dreams are made to be broken, so Hajime continues in his teasing tone with a small smile, “You really are a shitty guy.”

Tooru huffs a laugh and turns back to the snack bowls full of popcorn and pretzels, pretending, just pretending, that for that moment his heart wasn’t hurting.

Hajime, of course, can tell how forced the laugh was, because that’s the double-edged sword of knowing someone practically your whole life. Tooru can sense him hesitating behind him, closes his eyes in preparation for the hand that Hajime is reaching out to touch his shoulder with.

Tooru both craves and dreads that touch right now. Craves the love of the one that completes his soul, and dreads the reminder that he’s so close yet so incredibly far. Across a line that doesn’t reveal the other side.

And Tooru is terrified. So he flinches when Hajime touches him.

And he can feel the space between them widen. Tooru doesn’t know if Hajime can subconsciously sense his withdrawal through the bond or not, but there’s a definite tension in the air that wasn’t there before.

Tooru opens his mouth to break it, but before he can, there’s a knock at the door.

They stare at each other for a heavy minute, and Tooru wishes he knew what Hajime was thinking.

Of course, there’s obvious hurt, confusion, and concern shining in his eyes, but beyond that, Tooru can’t understand Hajime’s thoughts on  _ why _ he pulled away, what causes Hajime is thinking of right now.

If he’s somehow blaming himself.

Hajime’s eyebrows scrunch together slightly, and his lips part in a confused stuttering exhale, a question being formed along with his hand still hanging, just as another knock splits the air between them.

Tooru can only stand, hopelessly drowning in the emotions in Hajime’s eyes, before Hajime blinks and lets his hand fall to his side.

Hajime’s sigh before he goes to the door is in tandem with the wave of emotion that Tooru gets from the bond, a medley of  _ Why?s  _ and _ What did I do?s _ overtaken by an overwhelming sense of concern in a ratio unshown by Hajime’s eyes.

Tooru finds himself blinking back tears.

Tooru is launched into getting himself together when A large hand claps his shoulder, nearly pitching him forwards as a laugh is startled out of him, “Hey, Kou.”

And so the ‘study party’ begins.

 

Half an hour later, Tooru looks around at the textbooks strewn across the floor and table and thinks he can count this down as a success. 

Then the doorbell rings.

He had only extended the offer to four people, one of them had politely declined with a mutter of, “I don’t do well with new people,” and Tetsurou, Koutarou, and Keiji are already there.

Tooru excuses himself and Keiji pauses his explanation of space symbolism in the assigned book he’s reading.

If it’s anything with malicious intent they can’t make it past the wards, so Tooru isn’t nervous at all when he opens the door to find the fourth invitee on the other side.

“Ken-chan!” Tooru doubts Kenma would take kindly to him pointing out that Kenma didn’t want to come, so Tooru settles on the least rude and revealing question he can, “What’s up?”

“I need to to borrow the next book,” Kenma’s eyes glitter with excitement and Tooru grins in understanding.

“I take it you got to the cliffhanger,” Tooru steps aside and Kenma takes purposeful strides to Tooru’s bedroom, reemerging a moment later with a thick book held tightly with both hands. With a nod to the occupants of the main room, he leaves, and on the way out Tooru can hear him muttering theories to himself.

Later, after everyone’s filed out the door, Hajime looks as though he wants to say something, but instead turns to gather his stuff before disappearing into his room.

The heartache returns, and Tooru isn’t sure whether he or Hajime is the biggest contributor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT
> 
> ALSO!!!! GENERAL POSTING SCHEDULE IS EVERY OTHER MOTH BC I'M RUNNING OUT OF PREWRITTEN CHAPTERS!! THAT PUTS US POSTING ON TOORU'S BIRTHDAY AND HOPEFULLY UPDATING "Hajime's Perspective" ON /HIS/ BIRTHDAY (we have no set schedule for Hajime's Perspective sorry ;n;)


	5. Supporting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some developements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ENJOY
> 
> HAVE FUN
> 
> ETC  
>  PLEASE COMMENT

Then an opportunity for the tension to fade is presented. Hajime’s schedule finally frees up after his last final, and Tooru had his the day before. They had  _ plans.  _ They were going to set up Tooru’s laptop and watch a star wars movie, a godzilla, a star wars, and so on so forth.

Tooru can’t contain his grin as he bundles one last blanket in his arms and brings it out to the sitting area.

“You ready?” Hajime asks, the excitement in his voice poorly concealed. 

“Always ready,” Tooru responds, wiggling his eyebrows.

They get through about half a movie before Hajime’s all nighters and finals catch up with him, and he slowly succumbs to sleep. The signs very obvious and making Tooru smile.

First there’s the restlessness. Then yawning so hard that tears form at the corners of his eyes. And then the best, where Hajime can barely keep his eyes open and his head slowly but surely lolls onto Tooru’s shoulder, where he falls asleep.

Tooru tenses for the first few moments, but allows Hajime’s warm puffs of breath and the comforting weight of him besides Tooru lull him into a sense of contentment.

This is exactly what he needed. What both of them needed really, even if Hajime didn’t know it yet.

They make it through another half movie before the peace is shattered by the sound of nyan cat blasting from Tooru’s vibrating phone.

Tooru curses as Hajime blearily blinks awake, content smile slipping to make way for a scowl. There’s no point in him declining it because Hajime is already awake, but Tooru is still tempted. The screen fades and Tooru exhales in relief before the phone starts again.

Tooru pushes to his feet and walks to his room, answering Tetsurou with a hiss of, “ _ What!”  _

Only to stop in his tracks at the sound of a choked sob and the crack of bones shifting in their sockets for the first time, “He-elp.” Tetsurou manages to gasp out.

“Oh! Okay! Umm Tettchan don’t worry I’ll be right there. Just stay calm. Deep breaths.” 

Tooru grabs his jacket and turns to the door, only slightly surprised to see Hajime standing in the doorway, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Hajime croaks out, his just-woke-up voice usually enough to make Tooru swoon. Not tonight though.

“A friend is…” How the hell is Tooru supposed to explain this? “Hurt,” is what Tooru settles on, “I’ve got to go make sure he’s okay.”

“Should I come with?” Hajime’s fully alert now, ready to help anyone in need. It’s one of the many things Tooru loves about him.

“It should be fine. Thank you though Iwa-chan!” Tooru hugs Hajime then rushes out the door, “I’ll be back tomorrow!”

 

The night is lukewarm, and when Tooru looks up it’s a new moon. Interesting. His and Hajime’s trigger point is the half-moon, more accurately the first and third quarter of the moon phase, when 50% of the moon is visible. Basically that meant that everything started when Hajime’s birthday fell closest to the half moon when when he was born, and the next time it fell close to the half moon Tooru was able to walk in his dreams. It also meant that Tooru’s first shift after he met Hajime was on the half-moon. 

Tooru shakes off his thoughts and hurries across the street to slip into the woods behind Tetsurou’s apartment, shifting as soon as he’s past the view of the security cameras in order to use his magic to sense to other larthemae. To his surprise, instead of in the complex where he expected him to be, Tetsurou is further back in the woods, just off one of the jogging trails.

He must have been able to tell what was happening and gone off the trail just before it got bad enough he couldn’t walk.

Tooru doesn’t hesitate before running to where he can sense Tetsurou collapsed in the grass in a small clearing.

Shifting back, Tooru kneels beside Tetsurou where he’s writhing on the ground, in too much pain to do anything more than whine when Tooru reaches out to touch his shoulder. The whine doesn’t sound human in the least, and Tooru figures that his larynx was the first thing to shift.

“Hey Tettchan it’ll be okay. The first shift always hurts, but all the ones afterwords are painless okay? I promise. You’re lucky you shifted this new moon, because it’s been finals month you couldn’t’ve met many new people right? So we have a small list. And I’m sure that with your new magic you can identify them the moment you get close enough! We just have to figure out how to explain to them, and because you’ll have just met them you’ll have an easier time than I did. Not to mention-” Tooru keeps talking as they wait for the shift to complete. Gradually Tetsurou’s clothes shift into a smooth jet black coat, and his eyes change into glowing golden orbs with voids in the center.

Suddenly one of Tetsurou’s newly reformed ears twitches toward the trail and Tooru hears the snap of a twig. Tooru twists to put up wards deterring humans, cursing himself for not doing it earlier. But he’s too late somehow, and the approaching bulk enters the clearing.

Tooru half shifts to appear more threatening, teeth elongating, ears shifting to the top of his head and becoming pointed, and bushy tail puffing up further to make him appear large. Tooru stands immediately to shield Tetsurou from view, but he’s too late to mute his pained whimpers. 

“Oikawa?” sounds the incredulous voice of the newcomer, “What are you doing out here?”

The voice pauses, “Half shifted too?” 

Confusion immediately overtakes Tooru’s senses, how did this stranger know his name, that his state was a half-shift? 

“Step forward.” Tooru growls, realizing a half step late that he had said that in the growl of the larthemea language. 

Nevertheless, the other steps forward into the light, and Tooru releases his breath at the sight of the half-shifted ace. 

“Bo-chan, I didn’t realize.” Tooru admits, standing aside to let Koutarou closer.

“It’s fine dude, you couldn’t’ve known.” Koutarou approaches cautiously, “Is this your first shift Tetsu?”

 Tetsurou, almost fully shifted, gives a slight nod.

“Cool man! Good luck telling your mate!” Koutarou sits on the ground near Tetsurou’s head, tucking his wings close to his back and shifting his tail feathers away, his eyes remaining unnaturally gold and round.

“Who’s yours?” Tooru asks, sitting on Tetsurou’s other side, absentmindedly stroking his flank in a soothing manner. 

“Keiji!” Koutarou proudly exclaims, “He actually knows, because we met on the full moon and I immediately started to shift.” Koutarou laughs a little, “He was freaked out but took it very well! That was a year ago and now we’re living together! I mean, you know that because you invited us to that study party.”

“Yeah. You’re very lucky!” Tooru wishes it were that easy for Hajime and him. “Wait… The study party! That’s probably when you met your mate Tettchan! And the only unmated person there that night was-” 

Tetsurou makes a small movement, and in that instant the world seems to hold its breath.

His first shift is complete.


	6. Detection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we were going to post on Tooru's birthday but it turns out I'm not allowed to have my computer at the camp I will be at from tonight through the 21st so ( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This completely got away from me but what is planning anyways hahahahaha
> 
> Okay so I have to pack and leave so I'm posting this and Elise will add the art to the chapter later!! There will also be a tumblr post? I think? It's up to Elise? Just check the tags on our blogs!!
> 
> Update: Hi this is Elise! if the image doesn't show up idk how to do it then, u guys this is what happens when Avien leaves me to do things on my own, a mess... Anywho there is a Tumblr post to see the image here->https://budsnblooms.tumblr.com/image/175819903582

“Okay, Iwa-chan should be out for another two hours as his class just started.” Tooru says with a clap of his hands, smiling at his two guests.

Kenma hesitantly raises a hand, “Why am I here?”

Tooru hopes his smile isn’t as strained as it feels, “Ken-chan! We haven’t hung out since the study party, don’t you want to spend quality time with your friend?”

Kenma, with no hesitation whatsoever, automatically responds with, “What friend?”

Tooru theatrically gasps, hand to his heart, “Ken-chan!”

Kenma turns to Tetsurou with a soft, “Sorry about him.”

Tetsurou laughs, a bit nervously, “I’m used to it.”

“Mean!” Tooru says, mock irritation shielding any shaking in his voice.

Conversation picks up after that, and eventually Tetsurou gets Kenma to open up about a game he’s playing, and the book he found based on it.

Tetsurou can’t seem to stop the soft smile overtaking his features, or the way he looks at Kenma, like he hung the stars.

Tooru feels his smile become a bit brittle and quietly slips to the kitchenette area to collect himself.

From the kitchenette he can still see the pair, but he no longer feels like he’s intruding, and he can tune them out in favor of sipping a glass of water.

This isn’t his moment.

He wishes it were, wishes that he had the guts to at least tell Hajime his feelings.

He has six days until his next bi-monthly shift, and being nearly exactly halfway through his cycle he’s as far from his shifts as possible. Meaning that his longing for his mate is as low as possible.

Supposedly.

Really all that means is that instead of the urge to shift and run with Hajime through the woods as they race spirits and each other, two foxes sharing thoughts without speaking and magically setting up pranks for each other and sensing the other at all times and being soothed by each other’s unique energy signature and- He’s getting off track.

Instead of all that, Tooru’s longing for the less magical things gains strength, like domesticity and sharing a bed and casual touches and loving glances and and and.

It doesn’t hurt any less.

And looking at Kenma and Tetsurou brings the ugliest emotion Tooru can think of feeling. Jealousy. He knows he shouldn’t feel that way, but even though his happiness for the pair overwhelms his envy, it doesn’t change that he can still feel the bitter pang.

He hates it.

Tooru physically shakes his head, _I’ve got to stop thinking like this! Fuck._ He finishes his water and walks back into the sitting area, just in time to hear Tetsurou speak.

“Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind every night.”

 _Oh no,_ Tooru almost groans out loud, _Pick-up lines._

 _Although-_ Kenma shakes his head as Tooru connects dots. From the first birthday (after their actual birth day) of the non-larthemae mate that falls closest to the moon cycle that they were born on the mated pair shares dreams as the creatures they shift to. This stops when they meet.

“That’s not how that pick-up line goes,” Kenma says in protest.

“It is for us,” Tetsurou says, sliding off the couch to kneel in front of Kenma, grabbing his hands in his.

“Kenma,” Tetsurou says seriously, “You’re the puma of my dreams.”

Silence stretches on for a few moments, broken by Tooru facepalming. _THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT!?_ Tooru pushes the thought at Tetsurou. It’s different than sending thoughts through a bond, which is a two-way street and is easy no matter the distance, and this kind of mental conversation is only possible when the creatures involved have access to their magic.

 _WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FROM ME?!_ Tetsurou mentally screams back, _I PANICKED AND HE’S SO CUTE AND AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!_

Before Tooru can push another thought at Tetsurou, Kenma speaks up, and his voice, deadly calm even though Tooru is sure that had Tetsurou not grabbed Kenma’s hands they would be shaking, “How do you know about that?”

In lieu of a verbal answer, Tetsurou releases Kenma’s hands, and shifts.

This is why Tooru didn’t want Hajime home while this conversation happened, even if he were in a different room.

Kenma shifts his gaze from Tetsurou to Tooru, “Why are you not freaking out?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Tooru considers taking a page from Tetsurou’s book and shifting to avoid the situation.

So he does.

Kenma just stares at the fox before a soft, “ _What the fuck?”_ escapes.

Tetsurou licks Kenma’s hand, setting his large panther head on his lap and staring into Kenma’s eyes, obviously they’re sharing thoughts through the bond.

Tooru shifts back, subtly biting his lip and looking away, envy curling in his gut again.

He wants to communicate with Hajime like that.

It sounds petty, but honestly? Isn’t 15 years of pining, of hiding a secret that changes and shapes every aspect of their lives enough to justify his pettiness?

Tooru reaches out his consciousness to Hajime, feeling himself settle at the familiar soul connected to his. Hajime seems to be in his anatomy class, giving a presentation. His voice is soothing, and Tooru looks through split vision as he finishes and Kenma and Tetsurou continue their mental conversation. About five minutes after Hajime finishes his presentation, Tooru can feel the adrenaline of speaking in front of a class fade away. After a few seconds, Hajime shifts in his seat. He’s confused, Tooru realizes. About what?

He gets his answer.

 _Hello?_ Hajime’s thought is soft, unsure. _Hajime sensed Tooru in his consciousness. He knew someone was there. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck._

  


__

Tooru panics and withdrawals, just in time for Tetsurou to shift back.

Tetsurou sends him an odd glance but keeps his attention on Kenma, “Now you try.” He prompts.

“What.”

“Try. You. Now,” Tetsurou accentuates, joking nervously.

Kenma gives his a look that clearly reads, “What in the fresh hell do you even actually fucking mean by that?”

Tetsurou seems to give a mental push because Kenma’s expression clears in understanding and the next instant a puma is just. There. On their couch. Pumas better not shed.

Tooru feels a mental prod at his bond with Hajime.

He feels sick. And it must show on his face because Kenma shifts back to frown at him, and Tetsurou follows his gaze.

“You okay dude?” Tetsurou asks, clearly nervous that Tooru is jealous. Overtly jealous.

“No. Oh my gosh.” Tooru leans his head into his hands, “Oh no.”

“Oikawa?” Kenma asks.

“He sensed me. He sensed me and _he spoke_.”

Tetsurou understands immediately, happy expression giving way to a grave one.

“Your mate?” Kenma puts Tooru’s words together, and his voice falls into understanding and a bit of horror, “He doesn’t know.”

At that moment there’s a frantic knock on the door. Sensing who it is, Tooru mentally pulls it open without looking up.

Koutarou practically falls inside, Keiji right behind him to close the door, “Are you okay!?” Koutarou screeches.

“You were sending out panic,” Keiji says, and Tooru can hear the tremble in his voice.

Tooru lets Tetsurou explain, not looking up as his heart races.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Keiji asks angrily when Tetsurou finishes.

Koutarou opens his mouth and Keiji cuts him off, “No! You’ve had fifteen years! You shouldn’t be so scared! It’s his life too and you shouldn’t keep secrets from each other it could ruin-”

Tooru stands up, ignoring the tears in his eyes, “The _truth_ could ruin him! You don’t understand because Bo-chan shifted the moment you met him! And Kenma had his dreams! Hajime hasn’t has those dreams since he was six! He has no idea magic even exists!” His voice cracks on the last word, and the tears finally escape.

He’s shaken. Very very shaken.

Tetsurou shifts first, padding forward to weave around Tooru’s legs. Kenma follows and as soon as Tooru shifts Keiji and Koutarou become a pair of owls, settling on Tooru’s back, all exuding calm and comfort.

They stay that way until Hajime is nearly home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS ALWAYS PLS GO SEND SCREAMING ASKS TO ELISE (@budsnblooms) ABOUT THE WONDERFUL AMAZING ARTWORK
> 
> PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT OKAY THANKS HAVE GREAT DAYS LY ALL


	7. Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAPS HALLOWEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS LATE BUT LIFE HAS HAPPENED TO BOTH OF US
> 
> ALSO THE ART BY ELISE (@budsnblooms) WILL BE ADDED LATER TONIGHT/TOMORROW BE SURE TO KEEP AN EYE OUT ON TUMBLR IT'S GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL

 Tooru sighs, staring at the ceiling and allowing himself to bask in the stillness. Faintly he can hear the soft jpop he started playing as soon as he stepped out of the shower. He knows he has to acknowledge the passing of time eventually, but for now… well, Tooru has done this for a long time.

And he doesn’t plan to stop anytime soon.

Tooru lets his eyes slide shut as he reaches out with all his human senses, and then with his magic. There are a few spirits wandering around, but Tooru avoids alerting them to his presence. He isn’t in the mood for casual conversation. 

Across the road, there’s a few squirrel nests, a few butterflies flit around aimlessly, and- Tooru recoils when he reaches familiar soul.

Tettchan and Kenma are apparently testing out Kenma’s magical abilities.

All larthemae’s mates, when their magic is unlocked, are able to access an animal form that compliments the larthemae’s own trueform. If they’re aware of their magic, that is. 

As disappointing as it is to admit to himself, Tooru is still jealous. Well, “jealous” is a bit too strong of a word, although not strong enough.

Jealousy is something that consumes like a hot flash and stings as it goes.

What Tooru is feeling consumes him yes, but slowly. It creeps along like a poison decaying his bones from the inside out, turning his blood to lead and increasing the effect of gravity on him.

It’s loneliness. Bone-deep, chilling, haunting loneliness.

Loneliness that is at a level Tooru has only experienced through memories, when he was without his mate.

Dwelling on it makes it worse, so Tooru turns to other thoughts.

Honestly, Tooru has no idea how much Hajime can do without the knowledge of magic, because without knowing about it he would put up a mental block of impossibility, however subconsciously. Kind of like how human’s brains don’t let humans use their full strength until they’ve built up the muscle support for it, but they can still use some strength.

Tooru knows for sure that Hajime has some things related to magic down. For instance, Hajime can always tell when Tooru’s had a bad day even when he’s not around. And some mornings Tooru will wake up to a two-hour old text from Hajime saying he left coffee on the counter and the coffee will still be warm. It’s the little things that could easily be brushed off even without an explanation. 

Nothing to the level of Tooru’s conscious magic. His abilities to teleport, shift, sense magic, and see the spirit realm. Not to mention that, along with magic, Tooru has access to memories of his past lives and that means basic understanding of how things are built, worked, old slang, how past injuries feel, and even how to speak languages he’d learned in the past. He knows, in addition to Japanese, French, German, and English.

It’s great, having these skills, but Tooru can only really speak Japanese,  French and English around people because he can claim to have taken French online, and English in school, but German is harder to explain, especially around Hajime.

Hajime… everything would be so much easier if Tooru could just tell him.

Easier said than done.

The mess a few days ago was a good example. Maybe not of how Hajime would freak out, but of how Tooru knows Hajime well enough to know that that curiosity would give way to fear.

After all, hatred is rooted in fear. 

Tooru sighs again, hating how the motion makes him aware of his body, and tries to go back the feeling of being a mass of magic, aware of everything and nothing at once. 

He can’t. Great.

Tooru groans and sits up, wincing as feeling flows back into his numb limbs. 

His phone is on the bed near his pillow, and Tooru decides he’s ready enough for the world to stop wallowing in his loneliness. He presses the power button and is met with a dark screen. 

Dead.

Wonderful.

Tooru almost loses his gall, but he knows full well that he can’t stay in his funk forever.

He presses his finger to the screen and there’s a tingling sensation as electrons flow through his hand before his phone lights up.

And buzzes so hard Tooru drops it back to the pillow, notifications pouring in for a sold thirty seconds.

_ What the fuck? What happened? _

Most of them are from the group chat he has with the former Seijou third years, but there are a few from the chat with Hitoka and Tetsurou.

 

**Yacchan** : hhhh this test is going to kill me

**Tettchan** : study meet up?

**Yacchan** : sure!  ~~ Thank you ༼☯﹏☯༽  ~~

**Tettchan:** coffee shop in an hour?

 

That was about 40 minutes ago. 

Sure enough, Tooru can sense Tetsurou is back in the apartment complex, although Kenma isn’t there as far as Tooru can tell, so Tetsurou’s most likely about to leave.

With a snap, Tooru dons black skinny jeans, a white shirt, and a blue-green flannel. A split-second later, he’s slipped between realities to teleport to Tetsurou’s room. 

Tetsurou jumps a bit from where he’s pulling on a shirt, nearly falling back onto the bed, “Dude, come on! At least text me or something!”

Tooru snickers, waving a hand to blow-dry Tetsurou’s hair, “now maybe we won’t be late.”

Tetsurou scowls at him, badly suppressing a smile, “Yeah, yeah.”

Tetsurou grabs his wallet and keys and then they head out.

They walk, because of course they do. Randomly popping up in the middle of a coffee shop with a bunch of college students in plain view wouldn’t be smart to say the least. 

 

 

The coffee shop where they usually meet is kinda crowded, so when Tooru and Tetsurou get there, they thank their height for being able to spot Hitoka when it’s clear she couldn’t sit in their usual spot. 

“Yacchan!” Tooru calls, and her head pops up from the textbook she’s been buried in.

It’s time to study and socialize, and Tooru thinks it’s just what he needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT


	8. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so Idk what happened to Elise if anyone knows if she's okay please tell me I'm really worried
> 
>  
> 
> HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I GUESS THIS IS MY GIFT??? BC I'M LEAVING THE 26TH AND DON'T HAVE TIME TO FINISH ANYTHING ELSE <3

Tetsurou is going through a stack of flashcards with Hitoka when it happens. The mental poke is just that, a small poke, and Tooru tells himself that it’s not enough to worry about.

And then the mental poke becomes an experimental whisper.

_“Hello?”_

Tooru is mentally silent, trying to focus on his essay.

_“_ _I know you’re there… whatever you are. I can feel you there. Gods that sounds weird. This whole thing is weird. How am I so sure anything was even there? This entire thing is just. Weird.”_

Tooru ignores how Hajime’s doubt sends a sliver of hurt through his heart, instead focusing on his essay, even as Tetsurou quickly sends him a concerned glance.

Tooru’s phone buzzes, and he couldn’t be happier for the distraction.

Apparently Issei and Takahiro are in town, and they’re making plans with Hajime to meet up tomorrow. Alright. Fun. Another happy couple for Tooru to uselessly compare his relationship with Hajime to, the day after another forced shift spent alone. Not that he has anything against happy relationships, he just hates that he knows he’ll spend the time comparing and _wishing_.

Tooru feels a knock against his mental defenses, but it’s not from the bond. Tooru recognizes the energy signature as Tetsurou’s and opens his mind a bit.

_You good fam?_

_**Yeah, Iwa-chan’s trying to reach out, is all.** _

_Really?!_

**_He thinks it’s weird._ **

_I mean, he is human._

_**Ish.** _

_Enough._

There’s a moment of mental silence before Tetsurou thinks at him again.

_You should tell him._

**_No_. ** Is Tooru’s knee-jerk reaction, and then he explains, **_if just the idea of a mental connection with a stranger is ‘weird’, I can’t even imagine how he’ll react to magic._**

Tetsurou mentally hums, and they turn their focus back on studying.

After a few minutes Hitoka sets down her flashcards, and Tooru and Tetsurou give her questioning looks. She seems to debate with herself for a moment before looking Tetsurou determinedly in the eyes, “Congratulations!”

Despite her conviction, sincerity, and level volume, her voice still squeaks.

“What?” Tetsurou sounds fully bewildered, and Hitoka swallows.

“You seem different, more um... no, _less!_ Confined? If that makes sense?” She struggles a bit with her wording, but her meaning is clear.

Tetsurou’s confused expression melds into a smile, “Yeah, it does. Thanks Yacchan,” he clears his throat, shifting slightly in his seat, “Actually, Oiks introduced me to someone, and we made it official today.”

Hitoka smiles, and Tooru smirks, “Oh? I didn’t know you made it _official_ Tettchan,” he teases, and Tetsurou rubs the back of his neck, smile still in place.

“Who is it?” Hitoka asks, leaning slightly forward in her seat.

“Kenma,” Tetsurou’s love-struck look is clear in his tone, and Hitoka gasps.

“Oh!! I know him! He’s so nice and sharp-witted!” she laughs, “Like you but quieter!” Tooru snickers as well, because, _Yeah_ , “I bet you two get along great!” she finishes with a smile.

Tetsurou grins, blinking, “Yeah,” he agrees softly. And then louder, “Glad I have my best friends’ approval!”

They all smile before getting back to their work.

It’s not long after that when Hitoka’s girlfriend walks up to their table with a soft, “Hello.”

“Hey~” Tooru and Tetsurou chorus, and Hitoka greets her with a kiss on her cheek.

“What’ve you been up to Kiyo-chan?” Tooru asks.

“Work,” Kiyoko says with a joking smile and a gesture towards her nametag, “You know my shift just ended.”

Tooru smiles, “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah Kiyo-chan, tell us what’s been up in your life!” Tetsurou cuts in. They haven’t seen Kiyoko since the last practice match.

“Gardening stuff for Hitoka-chan is the only fun thing I’ve had time for in a while,” Kiyoko admits, her lips turned down slightly as she takes the seat next to Hitoka, “My sociology professor hates us.”

Tooru and Tetsurou wince in sympathy, “We heard you have a group project in that class.”

Kiyoko hums questioningly, then her eyes light up with realization, “Ah, did Kenma tell you? He’s my partner, thank goodness.”

“Yeah,” Tetsurou says, mildly surprised, “How’d you know?”

“Hitoka-chan,” Kiyoko answers simply, and Hitoka buries her head in her hands.

“I didn’t tell them yettt,” she whines under her breath, although all three of them hear her. Tooru and Tetsurou because of their heightened senses, and Kiyoko… for some reason.

“Oya?” Tetsurou goes, trading a look with Tooru, who grins right back.

“Oya oya?”

 Hitoka looks up again with a nervous chuckle, some of the tension bleeding out of her shoulders. Kiyoko lays an apologetic and encouraging hand on her shoulder, and Hitoka takes a deep breath.

“Um. This might be kind of big.” She glances at Tooru, “Especially for you.”

“You don’t have to tell us if you aren’t comfortable, Yacchan,” Tetsurou leans forward to ruffle her hair gently as Tooru voices his agreement.

Hitoka shakes her head, “No.. I. I want to say this.” She blinks, and her gaze is determined, “Magic is real.”

Tooru and Tetsurou exchange a look before Tooru speaks, “We been knew. How’ve you been knew?”

Okay, he might be low-key panicking.

“I’m a hedge witch but how _you_ been knew?!” Hitoka squeaks at him, immediatly flushing bright red.

There’s a moment of silence before Tooru groans, “Never tell anyone I did that,” and Tetsurou cracks, the rest of them not far behind as they all shake with silent laughter.

Hitoka is the first to get herself under control, “I know you’re something,” Hitoka says, pointing at Tetsurou, “because you recently changed from human to something… I don’t know what you are though.” She clacks her mouth shut before exclaiming, “I’m so sorry if that was rude I genuinely-”

Tetsurou cuts her off, “Yacchan it’s fine. I’m relatively new to this as well.”

Hitoka nods, and Kiyoko grabs her hand, looking to Tooru, “What about you?” she asks, her tone smooth as ever, but searching.

“I am.” Tooru considers his next word, “Relatively _old_ to this larthemae thing,” he waves his hand, narrowing his eyes, reaching out with his magic to try to figure out what Kiyoko is. She has no apparent aura of magic around her, only a string connecting her soul. It stretches off to the left, in the direction he knows Hitoka and Kiyoko’s apartment is in. She’s connected to something, has a smooth voice, and… Tooru subtly inhales, she smells of salty air. “Siren? Selkie?”

Kiyoko’s eyes widen at his words, first at “larthemae” and again when he throws out his guesses. And Tetsurou and Hitoka are staring at him.

“How’d you know?” Tetsurou blurts at the same time Hitoka makes a questioning noise.

“Larthamae?”

Tooru looks around the cafe. It’s busy, and a few people are casting glances in their direction.

“Let’s take this somewhere less crowded,” he suggests, and Kiyoko nods.

 They stand, somber, and begin the walk to Tooru’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	9. Spilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post early because it's the anniversary of when I first started posting this!!! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!!

Hajime is back from class by the time they get there, and Tooru texts him quickly that he has friends over, and Hajime agrees to stop somewhere to pick up snack foods on his way to the apartment, so they have a little time.

"First order of business," he says, clapping his hands together as soon as everyone is situated, Tetsurou cross-legged on the floor and the girls on he couch.

"Hold on," Tetsurou says, holding up a hand, "Kenma's on his way."

Tooru nods, and Hitoka looks confused, even as Kiyoko nods in understanding, "How do you know?" she asks, "You didn't seem to text him?"

"Magic," Tetsurou says, tone that tone of serious-teasing people get when they say something that is not a joke but is meant to be taken as one.

Hitoka looks startled but nods, leaning forward intently, "You can do psychic magic?! That's so cool! I can only do a few things and I'm not limited much by my kind, unlike Kiyoko!" she pauses before squeezing her girlfriend's hand, "No offense of course!"

"They _are_ larthemae," Kiyoko murmurs, almost to herself.

Before Hitoka can again question what that means, there's a knock on the door.

Tooru goes to open it with a frown that is echoed by Tetsurou on his face. He must sense them too.

The door opens to reveal not only Kenma, but Keiji as well.

"Ran into him on the way." Kenma mutters as he brushes past Tooru.

"Bokuto-san has a class," Keiji explains, walking in.

"Ah," is all Tooru can think to say before he closes the door and turns back to the others.

Kenma has taken a seat in, or, more probably, been pulled into, Tetsurou's lap, while Keiji has sat on the floor on the other side of the couch.

"First order of business," Tooru says again, addressing Kenma and Keiji, "Yacchan is a hedge witch, and Kiyo-chan is a..." he trails off, still unsure which of his guesses is correct.

"Selkie," Kiyoko fills in, and he gestures to her in a 'yeah' motion.

"A hedge witch?" Kenma questions, "How is that different from just a witch?"

"I forgot you're so new to this," Tooru muses, and Kenma glares at him, "Not trying to offend!"

"There aren't many _witch_ witches left," Hitoka begins, "they're born witches, whereas a hedge witch discovers magic for themself and then has to build their own ability to use magic."

Kenma nods, and then Tetsurou murmurs into his neck, "No you aren't a witch." To which Kenma jabs him with an elbow and Tetsurou tightens his grip on Kenma's waist with an "Oof!"

Keiji and Tooru smirk, while Hitoka looks concerned and Kiyoko coughs into her fist.

There's a moment of silence, before Hitoka finally voices her question, which everyone could see burning the tip of her tongue, "What's a lar- lathre-" Her human vocal cords struggle with the word, and Tooru can tell she's not exactly a new witch but not an old one either.

"A larthemea?" Kiyoko takes pity on her girlfriend, who nods.

"Well," Tooru starts, "It's kind of difficult to explain." He looks to Keiji for help, and Keiji sighs.

"I think you'll describe it better than I ever could, Oikawa-san."

"I don't know where to start," Tooru admits.

"Are you elemental?" Hitoka asks, and Tooru shrugs.

"Not really? It's like I developed a preference for water but I'm not confined to it."

"So what kind of magic can you use?" Hitoka leans forward with interest.

"All kinds," is Tooru's answer, and Tetsurou nods.

Hitoka shakes her head, blinking, "That's not.. possible? Is it?" She looks to Kiyoko for help.

"They aren't born like you and me, Hitoka-chan," Kiyoko says simply, her piercing gaze going around from Tooru to Tetsurou.

"Huh?!"

"Their souls renew after their body dies, and then they meet their destined in most lifetimes, and then they have access to their magic. Therefor they are very powerful and ancient, not known to many humans," she looks to the ceiling, "I never thought I would meet one, given Larthemea don't generally reproduce and I used to live in the sea."

"I didn't know that," Keiji says, eyes narrowed slightly.

"It's not common knowledge, even among mates," Kiyoko admits, "because often the mate doesn't remember past lives because they are still more human than their Larthemea mates."

"How do you know all this?" Tetsurou asks.

"When I was young," Kiyoko admits, "There were many tales they used to share. Of the dryads that used to be everywhere, of shifters and of how humans disbelieve their own magic potential into obscurity. A few, they told us, were only tales of creatures we would never otherwise hear of. But then a few years ago..."

She trails off, and Tooru suddenly remembers a past conversation, "An otter."

Kiyoko looks at him in surprise, "Yes, an otter along the coast made me," she glances shyly at Hitoko, "curious. About humans. And so I left the sea during the days to attend school."

"If that's all the questions, Hajime will be here soon, so," Tooru had only just begun before the door swung open, Hajime carrying a few bags.

"Hello Iwa-chan!" Tooru chirps, "Do you need any help?"

"These take-out bags are cutting off my circulation, so it would be appreciated."

Hajime looks at everyone, "This looks more like a meeting than hanging out... should I be worried?"

"No-" Hitoka starts, and Tooru recognizes the curious light in her eye and quickly cuts her off with a laugh, stepping forward to take some bags from Hajime.

As they walk to the kitchenette area, Tooru exchanges a desperate look with Tetsurou, and he nods.

In the kitchenette, Hajime sets down his bags with a grunt, rubbing at his arms.

Tooru sets down his own bags and grabs Hajime's arms, gently turning them over to see the angry red lines crisscrossing where the bags were.

"Poor Iwa-chan," he mutters, "carrying the takeout all this way."

Hajime's breath seems to catch for a moment, before he responds, "It's okay."

 _I would do anything_. floats across the bond, and Tooru blinks back a wave of emotion. It's so... true. To them. It's so comfortable, so familiar, the trust they have that the other will be there. That the other would do anything for them thoughtlessly. Because Tooru would do _anything_ for Hajime.

Tooru looks up, and he's surprised by how unguarded and _soft_ Hajime's expression is, and his eyes look at him with something Tooru could almost think is romantic love. Hajime takes a slight step forward, and Tooru's heart begins to race.

Hunched slightly over Hajime's arms like this, they're nearly the same height, and Tooru can't help but think how easy it would be. So easy to lean in, to step in to even his height back out and hold Hajime close. But then Hajime blinks, stepping back, "The lines'll be gone by morning."

"Yeah," Tooru breaths, releasing Hajime's arms. He clears his throat, "I'm going to bring some of this out."

"Yeah," Hajime says, and his voice seems to waver with indecision for a moment, but his face betrays nothing and Tooru doesn't feel anything from the bond but his own lingering urge to kiss.

Tooru turns reluctantly, and brings the food up to the window out to the living area.

"That's an awful lot of tension." Tetsurou jokes, but his tone is concerned.

""Yeah," Tooru says, clenching his palms around the warmth from Hajime's arms, he's missing something, "too much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please comment!!


	10. Reassurance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Iwaoi day

 Tooru wakes up the next morning to someone opening his door. The energy signature is familiar and comforting. Safe. He doesn't fully wake up, but he does crack an eye open.

It's a cold morning, Tooru can tell without getting out of bed by the way the sunlight seems blue as it streams in the window, in the freshness of his breath, in the slight tremble of Hajime as he steps to kneel in front of Tooru with a whispered, "Hey."

"Hey," Tooru replies, voice rough with sleep.

They stay there for a moment.

Like this, half-awake, Tooru's more aware of the non-physical, and the warmth radiating from Hajime's skin is reflected tenfold through the bond. Hajime's fond half-smile is almost blinding, and when he reaches out to push a curl of Tooru's hair behind his ear, Tooru can almost pretend.

Pretend that Hajime had just gotten out of bed beside him, getting ready because he has an early class, but not wanting to leave without saying goodbye.

And then Hajime's hand withdraws, just like Tooru's wishes, and he clears his throat, glancing away from Tooru towards the window, "It's nearly noon, so you should get ready."

Tooru hums and curls further into his warm blankets, and Hajime's chuckle is better than any music in Tooru's ears, "We're meeting Mattsun and Makki."

"Oh shit!" Tooru bolts out of bed, "It's 11:40! This isn't enough time to get ready- Iwa-chan!"

Hajime laughs as he walks out of Tooru's room, and Tooru whines after him.

Tooru actually has plenty of time to get ready. He waves his hair into place and snaps on some clothes, then waits a few minutes before running out of his room to the bathroom, where he quickly brushes his teeth and then rushes out to where Hajime's sitting on the couch on his phone, making a show of rushing to put on his shoes.

It's exactly noon when they walk into the cafe, and Tooru picks out a place to sit while Hajime goes to get their orders. It's the same system as always, and Hajime still remembers his favorite drinks from when Tooru would be up late studying and Hajime needed to distract him. And if there's anything new Hajime would know if Tooru would like it. It's one of those things you can't escape if you've been best friends since you were seven and have lived together for a while.

There's a little voice at the back of Tooru's mind that whispers traitorously about how Tooru wishes that Hajime remembers his order because he loves him, but Tooru knows he can do the same with Takahiro and Issei.

"Where are they?" Tooru asks after they've been sitting for a few minutes, staring at the door.

Hajime doesn’t respond, and Tooru turns back to him, ready to see him shrug or to repeat the question. Intead, Tooru finds Hajime staring at him, and he has to fight down a blush at the unexpected attention, “What?”

“How’d you get your hair done in ten minutes?” the tips of Hajime’s ears seem darker, but Tooru can’t be sure.

"Um," Tooru's caught off guard by the question, "Magic?" is his answer, although it comes out more as a question. Luckily Hajime seems to take his tone for confusion rather than hesitant truthfulness and nods.

Hajime looks towards the door and his face brightens, "Hey!"

Tooru senses them before they reach the table, and stands to greet them, letting their familiar, memory-filled scents and signatures surround him.

"Yo," they say at the same time, matching smirks slanting their features. Tooru's struck by how well they subconsciously sinchronize, and there's a tug at his heart as he realizes he could be like that with Hajime, if he would let down the wall between them. The wall of ignorance is there for a reason, however, holding back from overwhelming Hajime to whatever dangerous point.

They sit down, and Tooru throws himself into their conversations, determined to enjoy this time with old friends.

Eventually the conversation goes out on a few tangents, as it was inevitably going to.

"I bet you've seen his shirtless more than we have," Issei points out, "evene excluding locker rooms."

“Well yeah, we live together, after all.” Hajime shrugs with an air of nonchalance.

“Speaking of,” Takahiro starts, wiggling his eyebrows, and Tooru rolls his eyes and brings his cup up to his mouth so that he’ll be drinking something and won’t have to answer whatever tomfoolery follows.

“How’s it feel being stuck with this fox?” Issei asks, nudging Tooru’s side with a sly smirk.

Tooru blanches at the question, nearly spitting out his water, drawing Takahiro and Issei’s attention.

Hajime ignores the question, noting the new, obvious tension in the air, and stands, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

As soon as he’s gone, Issei narrows his eyes at Tooru, _You haven’t told him yet?!_

Tooru looks away, avoiding the otter’s gaze.

“You haven’t told him yet?” Takahiro verbalizes his mate’s look.

“It’s difficult, okay?” Tooru whines, playing with the edge of his coffee cup.

“Yeah, you’ve only had, what, _fifteen years_ to tell him?” Takahiro’s voice carries levels of incredulity Tooru wasn’t prepared for, and he stays silent.

“Tu ne vais pas cacher toujours.” Issei intones. (“You will not hide forever”)

“Je ne vais pas.” Tooru mutters. (I won’t)

Tooru senses Hajime returning… with a couple of familiar presences.

 Hajime re-enters the scene approaches the table, blinking in slight surprise when everyone turns to face him. Tetsurou blinks from behind Hajime, his expression of shock quickly forming to a smirk when he makes eye contact with Issei.

“What’s this?” Issei smirks right back, “Oikawa, you never told me you knew another.”

Tooru groans and presses his forehead to the wood of the table as Hajime looks back and forth between Issei and Tooru.

Kenma steps out from behind Tetsurou, and Takahiro speaks up, “Welcome to the club! Population you, me, and our dear Iwaizumi.”

“And Keiji,” Tooru grumbles, going mostly unheard.

Kenma shakes his head with a small smile, “Not that I had a choice.”

Tetsurou gasps melodramatically, and Hajime’s confused scowl deepens.

“What club?”

Takahiro freezes, eyes darting between them all, before he clears his throat and recovers, “Why, the bottoms club of course.”

Tooru sighs into the table and Hajime flushes deep red as everyone else immediately stifles their laughter.

Which Tooru just might peep out of his arms to see because Wow Hajime is beautiful but that’s beside the point.

“Makki!” Hajime hisses, “We are in a public establishment!”

 “But you didn’t deny it~” Takahiro wiggles his pencil eyebrows at Hajime, who splutters.

“I- we- no!”

  Tooru tries to hide the way his amusement and embarrassment turn to cardboard in his mouth at Hajime’s vehement refusal, and ignores the concerned glances of the others.

Kiyoko chooses that moment to walk over, her shift ending. Issei's eyes widen and Takahiro fixes his posture.

"Hello again," Kiyoko says, seemingly addressing all of them, before her gaze lands deliberately on Issei.

"Hey Kiyoko," Hajime says, his face returning to it's normal color (unfortunately), "I'm sorry if we're being too loud-"

Kiyoko cuts him off with a raised hand, "Don't worry about it. My shift is over. However," she looks around, "this is a big enough group that we should perhaps move?"

They all nod at her suggestion, and decide to head to the park.

The walk there, Hajime is at the front talking with Kiyoko about one of their shared classes, while at the back of the group Takahiro explains to Kenma some aspects of being a larthemae mate.

Tooru stays in the middle, walking between Issei and Tetsurou as they get to know each other. Eventually, of course, their conversation turns into barbs directed at Tooru, equal parts concern and teasing, about telling Hajime.

"It's not going to shock him that much!" Tetsurou says, tone joking, "Not like with Akaashi-kun."

"Akaashi?" Issei questions, and Tooru mentally curses.

"Bokuto's mate," Tetsurou takes in Issei's shrug and looks to Tooru, who mentally pushes thoughts at Issei. Memories of Koutarou as not only another larthemae, but as an ace and English language major.

"Well then," Issei says after processing, "You told me a bit about him, but not about-" he pauses as Hajime casts a glance back at them, "Why?"

Tooru swallow his guilt and shame, "Because it's difficult," and now he swallow his pride a bit, "being around so many people who found their mates and keep telling me to tell Hajime. And you guys are more similar to each other than me and," Tooru looks up at the sky, watching as a bird swoops in lazy spirals across the sky, and blinks back tears, "I'm afraid of being left behind."

He stares into the sky and there's no conversation for a moment. From in front and behind there's the slight mutterings of the others, there's the sounds of their footsteps, and the swirling of magic energy, each signature unique blending together in their little group. Above birds twitter and Tooru tries his best to focus on his surroundings, to ignore how his magic doesn't quite fit, like a slightly bent puzzle piece among pairs that have clicked. A single tear escapes his closed eyes and his throat feels raw with the sudden effort it takes not to cry.

And then there's weight on both of his shoulders, warmth radiating from all sides and magic entwining comforting with his.

Issei and Tetsurou don't withdraw their arms from Tooru's shoulders, and Tetsurou is purring softly, and Tooru is reminded-

"You're not alone," Issei whispers.

In front, Hajime's dorment magic shifts, responding to Tooru's aching heart.

"Yeah."

He believes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment

**Author's Note:**

> Please please comment and find the art on tumblr (hopefully to reblog with tags?) @budsnblooms tumblr under her "iwaoi college au collab" tab.
> 
> Please subscribe to the series (Hajime's pov is there too!!) and check out the #larthemae tag @cheetahleopard and @budsnblooms tab


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